This Mother’s Day will be my first one without my lovely Mum, who died from a brain tumour in October last year, and I’ve been wondering about celebrating Mother’s Day without a mother, and what that feels like. We only found out in February last year and hers was an aggressive tumour, so we knew we didn’t have long, but nothing prepared us for losing her so quickly. It feels like suddenly there’s a club I’m no longer a member of and everyone else is, so I’m trying to find ways to navigate thee feelings, whilst remember my wonderful Mum.
Keeping your loved ones memory alive
The thing I have been struggling with the most is the thought of never being able to buy my Mum anything ever again, it feels so final, and I see things I know she would love all the time. My husband’s answer to me was that I don’t have to stop buying cards for her or buying things that she would love, so I have begun to buy her cards and write them to her, telling her how much I miss her at this time and what is happening in my life. I keep these stored away in a special place. It’s a way I can stay connected to her. I’m obviously not going to want to buy things for my Mum that she can’t use, as that would feel wasteful, but rather than that I’m ‘doing ‘ things that I know she would love, such as a spa day or a walk somewhere beautiful. These kind of things help me to keep her memory alive.
Love of nature
Something my Mum loved was gardening and flowers, now I’m not a keen gardener, but I do love wildflowers, so when I saw these gorgeous wildflower seed cards, I knew that I wanted to stock them. My Mum had turned over a patch of the garden to wildflowers just before she died, as she loved wildlife and nature, so these seed cards just feel like the perfect fit. I’m going to write one of these beautiful cards to my Mum and then plant it, so that when the flowers grow and bloom, it will help me feel connected to her. And because I found a way to celebrate her this Mother’s Day, I wanted to share it with you, in case it helps some of you to find a way of celebrating your wonderful Mums. Sometimes we just need an avenue to help with our grief and it can be especially difficult on special occasions as the loss feels deeper somehow.
I’d love to hear from you, if you’ve found ways to remember your lovely Mums, it’s such a difficult time, but I hope by finding ways to celebrate my lovely Mum, it will make it less painful for me, and allow me to celebrate her memory and all that she means to me.